Depersonalization

Doesn't everyone have abandonment issues?
No?

Odd. Discouraging, isn't it? You fought so hard for this, just to have it slip out of your control again. Apathy taught you that it's fine and to not become connected, or your wires will be snipped. Eventually.

It's never because of you...don't think so highly of yourself. Individuals are often times thinking of themselves, which is completely natural. We are selfish creatures, and there is no shame in being so. That doesn't make it...feel any better though. 

What are you thinking?
Abandoning ship.
Why? You'll throw your progress away again.
This always happens, in some way or another. Why repeat the same old shtick. 
What's a more permanent solution?
We both know this.
You are everything and nothing at the exact same time, you know this, yes? 
Why revive the dead self when it can still be hurt? 
Are you...used to this pain yet? why? 
Every time I think this is different. This time will be different. It won't happen. 
It always does though.
I know.
Do you though?

Your NP was right, you know. There was no point on putting you on medications if this is how you react. 

What will you do now?
Retreat.
Mm. I was afraid of that. The carousel begins again, yes?
Afraid so.
I liked her though. Just as all the others before her.
Same.
She looked so disappointed in you. As am I. 
I saw.

This doesn't feel real, does it? Nothing does. Never has. Everything feels as if you're in a movie...waiting for it to end...but it never does, does it?
No.
Everything is getting quiet again. We both know what this means.
Yes. 

Alright then. Go. Lose yourself in the work. Forget about the silence. Forget about everything.