Update

 

Maybe I want to talk to you about everything. I want to go in depth. Go spelunking in my mind...but i know it's a bad place. As much as you want to know, as much as you plead with me to know, feel as if i know better. I know it'll hurt you. i know that once you realize how big and difficult the caves are you'll be stuck, and i'd rather not put you in that circumstance. 
But, i suppose i owe you. So, in this blog, I'm going to be honest. Blunt. Real. 
Some recovery, sure...but mostly how disordered and obsessive I am. That way it's all out there. It's out in the open and i can't take it back. 
I hope these don't scare you away. You're an amazing person and I'm still quite confused on why you stick with me. Especially once you realize how messed up I am, but...I appreciate it. I don't like being vulnerable, but...it is what it is. 
Recovery, right?
haha